International Worship Symposium

A little church in Pasadena has been doing this conference for something like 33 years. Taking it all over USA and to a few countries too, they now just stay at home and let the 700+ delegates come to them every year. This time around I got in on it.  Went all by my lonesome to experience loads of dancing and flags and mime and banners and artists doing paintings during worship. My favourite quote from my notes is: "The main event of church is not the 'worship' or the 'sermon,' but is is the presence of God among his people." (Vivien Hibbert) and on John 4 regarding worshipping in Spirit AND truth, "Some 'prophets' are not much more than wandering fortune tellers in the name of Jesus. But on the other side, there are others who are so afraid of experience, and that they might do something wrong, that in their worship and life of faith, they've turned to stone." (Jim Gilbert)

I met Charlene Rice, a visual artist who was exhibiting her Worship Thru Art there. She was one of the highlights. After talking to her the first time she started calling me "Singapore Jazz." She has an interesting new ministry: she posts videos of her process in painting - with a fun a quirky message about following Jesus. Bought one of her posters and she threw in this one, "On a Mission," for free:

I went to sessions to learn Messianic folk/praise dancing. Loved the couple who were teaching! Bought a couple of their training videos and they threw in one for free. Met up with the couple who now run the school started by Todd & Marilyn Farley called Mimeistry. I've showed some of their pieces (via video) in classes I've taught before. Very disciplined and skilled in their craft, they have students who come study with them for 3 years full time!

All in all it was pretty amazing and refreshing and a little weird. Many of the participants were like hippies...free spirited types, if you know what I mean. Lots of people walking around in layers of flowing skirts or trailing vests with wreaths in their hair. Some of it was a little goofy for me to join in with them. But that's what's beautiful about it - they can just be like children before the Lord and not worry about looking foolish - so I admired it). Since i had gone on my own alone, and most of them seemed to know one another for years, or came with friends, I was still more of an outsider and observer. Many times I watched the flags and people down front dancing freely and it felt like heaven.

I went the last day to have some "healing prayer," which was really sweet. I was really ministered to by these strangers that would pray in the Spirit for my needs and specifically my request: to completely trust without doubting in God's goodness from the core of my heart. The themes that came out of their prayers were "Declaring the positive things God has done." "Labor to enter his rest." and "Sing to me, Dance with me."

Then another that was most amazing: "He will give you a nugget of Gold that will be the revelation or remembrance you need to surrender to knowing his love without a doubt."
The very same day I was choosing a song to sing for a missions event. I had decided to not sing a Christian song, but a showtune called GOLD, from "Camille Claudel." To me, "the Gold" is what we have when we know we are in God's will, and in doing it, we sense his great delight, are filled with joy and get a taste of "heaven on earth."

I've changed just a few words, but here are the lyrics I hope to sing in two weeks:

I wonder if when all is done
Anyone heard my voice
But from the start we have no choice
Our journeys just begin

Lord tell me did I do what's right?
Did I fight hard enough?
When the battles grew too rough
Should I have given in? (No)

So here I stand and swear to you
I did the best that I could do...

I know my voice was just a whisper
But someone may have heard
There were nights the moon above me stirred,
And let me grab a hold
My hands have touched the gold

My hearts been driven by extremes
Blind with dreams, tight with fear
But still God knows he put me here
And I've been so alive

And I can lay the past to rest
And in the end I'll do my best

You have to live the life you're given
And never close your eyes
You hold on, and stare into the sky,
And burn against the cold
For any moment, you might find the gold!

And there was joy
Through it all
And I am standing tall

I know my voice was just a whisper
But someone must have heard
There were nights the moon above me stirred,
And let my light take hold
I rode across that sky
And once I touched the gold

Here in my own two hands
I have held the gold

here's a YouTube promo video for Mimeistry:

Madeleine L'Engle

Madeleine L'Engle, graduated to heaven last September. To the world, she is most known for her award winning children's books, the first famous one being A Wrinkle in Time and a series that followed it. (This is a great series for reading aloud to kids!).

However, it has been through her non-fiction books that she had become one of my mentors. For more than 20 years I'd had her book Walking on Water, Reflections on Faith and Art on my shelf. Written in the 70's, nearly every Christian and Artist I respected had told me that this was THE book to read as a Christian in the arts. However, when I picked it up as a younger person it was too "all over the place" for me. I wanted a book on this topic to give me clear answers, and the right answers. At that time I was looking for some book like this to give me a better apologetic for who I was as an artist (because I so desperately wanted to justify myself somehow to my evangelical world who called me 'artsy' with a hint of a scoffing). For my part I felt like I needed to be less "all over the place" myself. This meandering book, was not the golden ticket I was searching for.

20+ years later, in 2007, I picked it up and began to read. No longer with the need to prove my artsy-ness to anyone, and meeting with some other female artists for prayer on Monday mornings, I would read passages aloud to them and we'd all be captivated. Finally at a stage in life where I'm rock solidly convinced this is how God made me, and he has declared it GOOD, Walking on Water was like having a leisurely conversation over tea, or while strolling through the woods with an older and wiser friend. I still haven't finished it, but have felt this past year that I could pick it up savor sections of it when I had the time to listen more to the thoughts of Ms. L'Engle.

She also became a mentor to me about friendship through the book she'd written with her long time friend and publisher Luci Shaw. I wanted to learn what they had to say about female friendships and loved what I found in Friends for the Journey.

I've just finished reading a wonderful tribute to Madeleine written by her friend Luci Shaw. I learned more about this remarkable woman, some character qualities of hers that I'd like to emulate. You can find it in Books & Culture, A Christian Review. This is a free newsletter through Christianity Today.

Have a good day walking on water!

I Got Some New Shoes On

JAZZ SHOES!

I've had the same new year's resolution for 5 years. So the 6th January in a row that I've put "TAKE A DANCE CLASS" down in my journal of resolutions, I immediately went and signed up for a 6 week interterm course: M-TH 2 hours a day!

Taking dance class has been a real workout. Two hours of S T R E T C H I N G me... and fun. Spend more than an hour just doing stretching! It's a real confidence builder. I'm walking taller. Dance is great for your self confidence and poise. My mom was always telling me to stand up straight, but all she needed to do was put me in some dance classes (Back then however, nice Christian girls didn't take dance classes).

I would have made a great dancer. You know why? According to what I can see reflected in the mirror, my body bends better/further than most of my teenaged classmates! At nearly 46!

No, I'm going to rephrase that: I'm gonna BE a great dancer! :-)

It's fun to be an encourager to the slower ones. There's even 8 guys in the class. I was saying to them yesterday how great it was that they were in the class, and that I'd told my boys about them.

One guy says, "So, guys aren't supposed to be in dance class?"

"Oh no!" I remonstrated, as the women around me giggled, "Guys are definitely supposed to be in dance classes, it's just that most of them don't KNOW THAT!"

I don't know that I'll take more classes, but my longing to do this for so many years is more than just for the fun of it. Taking a REAL dance class is a kind of symbolic act of healing and closure for me as much as anything.

That the PASADENA CITY COLLEGE baseball team does their batting practice into nets right outside the dance room door makes this class kind of especially healing. All the while I'm getting emotional closure on my childhood jealousy and inferiority to what I believed in my childhood was a preferred-and-easier-to-raise sporty-baseball-brother, I hear the constant thwack of the bats underscoring the music we're using.

Finally I'm in a place where I can celebrate that they're doing what they love, and I'm doing mine, instead of the "THWACK!" giving me a subconscious bitterness that I am wrong, or bad for not liking sports, it instead makes me happy that it is part of my dance class experience.

I feel so blessed to have this year for doing things like this. It's been such a gift to be able to take courses and fill in the gaps of my education. And that I'm doing it all at the Junior College rates so I can go to school without having to take out any loans, or make excuses that it's too expensive, or feel the need to justify it to people who might think my interests are frivolous.

Last night I had dinner with Christie Gill. A dear sister. We've worked on many a production in the past. Writing, singing, directing, acting...It was a great time to catch up with her. At one point I mentioned that I'd recently realized that all those years being a ministry wife in a church, I had an underlying anger toward God and the people I needed to prove my worth to, and that justifying myself - and my artistic endeavors - was part of my motivation for being a perfectionist. And she corrected me: "You've been angry because you feel you had to justify who you are." In the church, people who are good with numbers, or teaching, or care giving or hospitality don't have to justify their giftings. Artists contributions are not seen as essential to the ministry of a church. What we give is the extra, and is often seen as unnecessary by the typically non-artistic ones in charge.

That's part of my calling. To help others like me know how valuable they are - created by God to be just the way they are, and how necessary they are to the church, even if others around them don't get it. To empower them to, under the discipline and love of the Lord, live out of the fullness of who they are no matter what others might say.

New Book on Playback Theatre

Interactive and Improvisational Drama
a webpage supplement to Hannah Fox's ch 1

So excited to explore playback in a cross cultural setting again. Reading up more and reviewing to prepare for a trip in late February. A friend from Singapore and now stationed in Dubai, may actually come meet me there and teach the tech theatre track for around 150.

RateMyProfessor.com

Duke Stroud - Pasadena City College - RateMyProfessors.com
It's amazing what tools students have available to make decisions about classes! This professor was sweet enough to loan me books on directing over the school break. Generous. however, reading these student evaluations makes me glad I'm not still in my twenties!